Category Archives: Diary of a Used Car Salesman

Diary of a Used Car Salesman: A Fetish for Swedish Bricks

Photo: Murilee Martin I hate the word fetish. It beckons the thoughts of neurotic foot lickers and perverts the world over. I always believed the word “aficionado” was more apt for my liking of old Volvos. It’s true that a … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: A Big Car Guy Is Born

A few of my friends had their tongues hanging out. The year: 1984. The car: a brand new Toyota Celica Supra. It had the words ‘SUPRA’ in big bubble letters on the rear. Just in case you missed it. Pop-up … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: Automobiles 101

A car can be an incredibly expensive, sophisticated, intricate, and downright scary thing to own. Changing oil? Are you nuts? Heck, before I got my license I couldn’t even tell you the difference between a Capri and a Caprice. There … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: Tool of the Trades – The Work Truck

Ugly ain’t it? This Dodge truck looks like it got into a fight . . . and lost. Three front body panels need to be replaced, stat. The ladder rack is as big and surface rusted as a 1970s beater, … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: Getting Your Graduate a Car

It’s graduation time. In just three months, parents who are now watching their kids get high school diplomas will be watching them go off to college. They grow up so fast. Freedom. It’s a blessing and a bitch. As graduates … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: How to Shop Public Auctions

We had a public sale close up shop in Atlanta not long ago. This was a place I called ‘The Red Light District’ for the whorific dealers and management team that ran it. These putzes used to steal keys after … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: It Was A Horse… It Was A Mule

I’m a third generation mule trader. Grandpa literally bought mules and cows from the rural outskirts of Bavaria and sold them at the nearby cattle auctions. Dad’s been a food importer since 1949 for a company called Roland where he’s … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: The $500 Special

“Wooden Shoe Rather Be Dutch?” Sigh. Bumper sticker humor aside, the Subaru Legacy had 140k miles on the clock and a well-maintained powertrain (records in the glovebox). The hardback book about Abraham Lincoln under the driver’s seat gave me hope … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: Wheeler Dealers

Once a car salesman “data captures” you, the calls never stop. Some are rude. Some are sweet. All are pushy. The salesman’s goal: get the sale. Meet the quota (placate the Alpha Dog). Pay the bills (placate the Ex). In … Continue reading

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Diary of a Used Car Salesman: How To Buy A Used Car Without Getting Ripped Off – Pt.4 – The Deal

When it comes to buying a used car there are two basic negotiating mindsets. You can either be fair and decent or unfair and obnoxious. You need only visit a used car lot to know that unfair and obnoxious works. … Continue reading

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