A Appropriate Response From Mr. Tow Ball

Ah, notes left under a windshield wiper. How convenient for automakers to engineer in a built-in paperclip just perfect for leaving notes to a careless parker, and indeed there are careless parkers. Like the guy at the hotel in Orlando that took up a corner spot plus two adjacent ones parking diagonally with his Ferrari. Figuring that someone like that would completely freak out about someone touching his or her car, I left a note under the windshield: “Enzo would be ashamed of you. He built his cars to be driven, not pampered”. Sometimes, though, the person finding the note isn’t the one that parked carelessly.

A Gawker post crossposted to Jalopnik today oddly hailed as a “parallel parking god” the NYC driver in the video above. That driver may have squeezed his car into a parking space but he gives the phrase “parking by feel” new meaning. He ends up nudging the cars in front and back 40 times getting in and out of the too small curbside parking space. A commenter at Jalopnik, ryangod, apparently had enough of people damaging his car when they parked like this. His solution? Mr. Tow Ball.

That didn’t sit too well with some of his “neighbors”. So they left him this note in his windshield complaining that their cars were getting damaged by his tow ball when they parked, asking him to remove it.

Please take off your tow-ball.
So nobody gets a dent in
their bumper when parking


The neighbors

Of course the only way their cars could be damaged by a tow ball in a standard hitch would be if they were parking too close, most likely hitting his car. So ryangod posted his own most excellent response on lamp posts and other poles in his neighborhood.

Hi “The Neighbors”

I am Mr. Tow Ball and I am staying on my owner’s car.
I am the last line of protection from careless drivers who do not how how to parallel park.
Bumpers are intended to absorb energy from low speed collisions,  not as feelers for parking.
If you are implying that my owner uses me as a feeler to park, you are sadly mistaken.
If cars are dented, that is because they are hitting me with their car while they fail at parallel parking.

My owner’s license plates and frames are bent and cracked. The bumpers have several deep scratches and scuffs.
Unless you’d like to pay for my owner’s body work on a semi-annual basis or provide free garage parking.

I, Mr. Tow Ball, am staying.



Mr. Tow Ball
(too classy for a tennis ball hat)

PS. Here is a great example of why I exist. That silver Honda [pictured] really could have used me for protection from this asshat Passat owner, whom I watched squeeze into this spot the night before. The silver Honda got VIOLATED. No one deserves their property to be damaged due to neglegent parking.



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